Books-A-Minute

[kitsunerei88]

For anyone who's ever thought about reading the Stephenie Meyer books (Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse), but don't actually want to do it, here they are condensed into less than a minute!

Twilight

Edward: Bella, I love you!

Bella: Oh, Edward, I love you too!

Edward: Just so you know, I’m a vampire.

Bella: Oh, Edward, that’s okay. I still love you.

(continues more or less ad nauseam for the first two hundred odd pages. Then, something resembling plot kicks in, as EVIL vampires come into the picture)

Bella: Oh my god, the EVIL vampires have my mother! I must sacrifice myself to save her! Edward, I’m sorry!

Edward: NOOOO! (saves her)

Stephenie Meyer: There’s a sequel. Buy it!

New Moon

Edward: Bella, I hate you. (lying through his teeth)

Bella: (believes it and CRIES.)

(Time passes, during which Bella is melodramatically depressed for four months straight, and starts getting delusions in which she hears Edward’s voice)

Jacob: Forget about that loser vampire! Come hang out with me and the WEREWOLVES!

Bella: Oh, Jacob, I love you!

(More time passes. Bella is still delusional about hearing Edward’s voice, and proceeds to jump off a cliff. Don’t worry, dear reader, she’s not committing suicide!)

Edward: Noo! (plans his own suicide)

Bella: Don’t do it, Edward! (saves him)

Stephenie Meyer: There's another sequel! You know you want it!

Eclipse

Jasper: VAMPIRE WAR!

Stephenie Meyer: You know the drill.

After reading these, you are now thoroughly prepared for reading the last book in this series, Breaking Dawn, which is due out in bookstores sometime in August.